


Voltron: Legendary Fuckups

by Legendary_dreamer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Lance speaks Spanish, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Team Bonding, Team Voltron Family, Team as Family, big L, holt siblings, hunk and lance bromance, idk why i did this man, klance bromance, mfe pilot bondong, oof, please read this, team voltron - Freeform, this is a mess lol, voltron groupchat, whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-19 16:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendary_dreamer/pseuds/Legendary_dreamer
Summary: Lance finds his, Pidge's and Hunk's old group chat from their Galaxy Garrison days.It's safe to say this isn't gonna end well.This is gonna be a plance story btw y'all but like in the background.I own literally nothing.In chapter five they watch Planet Earth. I don't own that either.





	1. matt The Improper Noun

Tailor -> We're not calling ourselves Lance and the Cadets that's dumb

Tailor-holy shit guys look what i found.

Gunderson-what the fuck

HunkyHunk-the name still stands.

Tailor-fuck you

HunkyHunk-frick you!!!!

Gunderson-#lethunksayfuck2k19

Tailor- #lethunksayfuck2k19  
Tailor- We should make a paladin/mfe gc.

HunkyHunk-YES

Gunderson- bad idea just saying.

Tailor- fuck u pidge im doin it

Tailor added:KKogayne, Shiro, princess, gorgeousman, RomCom, VERONICA, leaf-dotter, RyanAids, NahDIEa, and gryffindor to "We're not calling ourselves Lance and the Cadets that's dumb"

VERONICA- wtf is this

Shiro- Lance?

Tailor- yeah dad??????

leaf-dotter-why is lance tailor?

Gunderson- cause of how he 'threads the needle'

RyanAids- who the hell is gunderson?

KKogayne- *gundersin

Gunderson- im pidge. i used gunderson as my last name when i infiltrated the garrison

Gunderson changed their name to inlovingmemoryofrover.

inlovingmemoryofrover- lonce why tf didn't you add Matt??

Tailor- shit

Tailor added mathematics-holt to "We're not calling ourselves Lance and the Cadets that's dumb".

Mathematics-Holt-420

Shiro- it's noon.

inlovingmemoryofrover- idk why but i expected your name to be dumber

Mathematics-Holt- oh hey pidge

inlovingmemoryofrover- hey matt

NahDIEa- wtfffffffffffff is this??????2?2?

gryffindor- who's rover??

inlovingmemoryofrover- he WAS the best reprogrammed galra drone in the universe.

Tailor- what about paladude???? The disrespect   
Tailor- o shit I forgot.

Tailor changed their name to sharpshooterninja

inlovingmemoryofrover- fuck u lonce

Shiro- language

inlovingmemoryofrover- fuck u 2 bitch

Shiro changed their name to Takashit Shitogayne.

Takashit Shitogayne- Pidge.

Mathematics-Holt- nice one pidge.   
Mathematics-Holt- Takashit lets not pretend you've never cursed.

VERONICA-I JUST SAW THE NAME AND IM LAUGHING SO HARD

HunkyHunk- i can change it

HunkyHunk changed the name from 'we're not calling ourselves Lance and the Cadets that's dumb' to 'MFE Pilots, Team Voltron, and matt'

Mathematics-Holt- hunk why isn't my name capitalized???

HunkyHunk- I only capitalize proper nouns

Mathematics-Holt- ?????

Princess- What is this and what is a proper noun?

Mathematics-Holt-oh hey allura. Didn't no u were here

Sharpshooterninja- MFE/TEAM VOLTRON GROUPCHAT + matt

Princess- Ah.

Mathematics-Holt- lance i trusted u

Gorgeousman- HELLO CHILDREN

KKogayne- you okay there coran?

Gorgeousman- IT APPEARS I AM UNABLE TO WORK THIS EARTHEN DEVICE

Sharpshooterninja- no one tell him.


	2. i salute the anime hair

Houston, my family's the problem -> HOLTS IN SPACE

Houston, my family's the problem-Matthew I want you to cut your hair. You look likes homeless man.

Holt the phone- no mom it makes me look badass

Holt in the name of the law- you look like mom

Holt up- Not that that's bad

Houston, my family's the problem- Matthew this is not up for discussion.

Holt the phone- but mom my anime hair

Mathematics-Holt-> 'MFE Pilots, Team Voltron, and matt'

Mathematics-Holt- ive gathered yall here today to celebrate the life of Mathematics Samuel Holt's anime hair.

KKogayne-???

Mathematics-Holt- {sent one screenshot}

HunkyHunk- Noooooo the anime hair

inlovingmemoryofrover- do what I did and cut it urself

Mathematics-Holt- nah moms scarier than zarkon

Inlovingmemoryofrover- valid

RomCom- what's anime

Mathematics-Holt- i have a lot to teach u, yung1

Sharpshooterninja- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE ANIME HAIR

Mathematics-Holt- the reaction i deserve. lance u r now my fave sibling

inlovingmemoryofrover- r00d now ur gonna look like how i looked after i cut mine

Mathematics-Holt- ew

inlovingmemoryofrover- d i s o w n e d

NahDIEa- i salute the anime hair

RyanAids- i salute the anime hair

Sharpshooterninja - i salute the anime hair

Gorgeousman- i salute the anime hair

HunkyHunk- i salute the anime hair

inlovingmemoryofrover- i salute the anime hair  
———

Mathematics-Holt- THE DEED IS DONE  
Mathematics-Holt- i look so fuckin dumb

KKogayne- pics

Mathematics-Holt- {sent one image}

inlovingmemoryofrover-ew wtf 

Mathematics-Holt- meet me in the dennys parking lot at 3 am katherine

Inlovingmemoryofrover- which dennys

Mathematics-Holt- the one by the tree that looks like a dick

Inlovingmemoryofrover- oh okay  
inlovingmemoryofrover- i fight to the death Matthew

Mathematics-Holt- trust me i no

Princess- you look like a white lance

NaDIEah- rip

inlovingmemoryofrover-{Sent 2 images} 

Sharpshooterninja-how did you even get that picture of me???

Inlovingmemoryofrover-i have eyes everywhere

KKogayne- blackmail??

Inlovingmemoryofrover- blackmail

VERONICA-IM DYING

Inlovingmemoryofrover- fear my power


	3. why we cant have nice things

Mathematics-Holt- i have been informed of some important news and i dont no what 2 do with it

Sharpshooterninja- tea??

Mathematics-Holt- my mom is the only one in my family who hasn't been declared legally dead at least once.

Inlovingmemoryofrover- and ur the only one who hasn't committed high treason

VERONICA- wack

—-

HunkyHunk- anyone wanna do something I'm bored

Sharpshooterninja- truth or dare go

HunkyHunk- truth go

Sharpshooterninja- scariest thing that happened in space go

HunkyHunk- when the food goo attacked pidge and I go

KKogayne- ??? When did this happen???

Inlovingmemoryofrover- when king alfor almost yeeted the castle into a star about to go supernova.

KKogayne- right

HunkyHunk- allura truth or dare go

Princess- dare   
Princess- go???

HunkyHunk- gimme a minute   
HunkyHunk- i dare you to ask iverson if they always strap people to tables when they return from a trip.

Princess- give me a minute.   
Princess- it is done

VERONICA- u ask someone now

Princess- Keith truth or dare, go.

KKogayne- dare

Princess- eat coran's cooking

KKogayne- oh shit i trusted you   
KKogayne- ill do it but he's busy rn  
KKogayne- pidge truth or dare go

inlovingmemoryofrover- truth i ain't a coward

KKogayne- how much blackmail do you have on the paladins+shiro

Inlovingmemoryofrover- MUCH

gryffindor- oof rip

RyanAids- hey James

gryffindor- hi ryan

Inlovingmemoryofrover- matt truth or dare go

Mathematics-Holt- truth go

Inlovingmemoryofrover- why tf did you fake ur death go

Mathematics-Holt- uuuuuuuuhhhhh  
Mathematics-Holt- long story short if you're gonna piss of aliens that could kill you make sure you do it in a war zone

Takashit Shitogayne- I'm confused. When did this happen?

Inlovingmemoryofrover- Dw abt it none of y'all were there.

Mathematics-Holt- Shiro truth or dare go

Takashit Shitogayne- truth go

Mathematics-Holt- when is ur bday

Takashit Shitogayne- MATTHEW SAMUEL HOLT  
Takashit Shitogayne-i will end u  
Takashit Shitogayne- they won't find the body  
Takashit Shitogayne- fuck u

KKogayne- I think we slipped into an alternate reality again

gryffindor-again??

Sharpshooterninja- space is wack man

HunkyHunk- valid

Takashit Shitogayne- MATTHEW U BITCH

inlovingmemoryofrover- and the dadsona is gone

VERONICA- DADSONA IM CRYING

Mathematics-Holt- sorry asshole karmas a bitch.

Takashit Shitogayne- one time matthew!!!!!

Mathematics-Holt - thrice i have all of them documented and I wont hesitate, bitch

Takashit Shitogayne- fuck

NaDIEah- im lost what the fuck did i miss

Leaf-dotter- a shit ton

Mathematics-Holt- ill do it for u coward

Takashit Shitogayne- hang on. I need to mentally prepare myself.   
Takashit Shitogayne- My birthday is February 29th.

Inlovingmemoryofrover- holy shit  
Inlovingmemoryofrover- guys shiro is fucking six

Takashit Shitogayne changed their name to AnActualChild

AnActualChild- wow Matthew low blow never trust a Holt this has been a psa.

AnActualChild removed themselves from the chat

Inlovingmemoryofrover- this is why we can't have nice things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is also on wattpad btw  
> and if yall have any suggestions let me know <3


	4. sendick and welcome shay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sendick lol

HunkyHunk —> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

HunkyHunk- can I add shay?

Ryan-Aids- whos shay???

Inlovingmemoryofrover- his girlfriend

HunkyHunk- we talked about this  
HunkyHunk- it's not like that  
HunkyHunk- I just think shes cool

Sharpshooterninja- whipped

VERONICA- you'd know

Inlovingmemoryofrover- tea???

VERONICA- tea.

Princess- we should add shay. Shes lovely   
Princess- and perfect for you, Hunk.

Mathematics-Holt- lol

HunkyHunk- you want to save one (1) Balmera and suddenly you have a girlfriend.

Mathematics-Holt- it just be like that sometimes.

Sharpshooterninja- you no i had to do it to em

Mathematics-Holt- <3

Sharpshooterninja- <3

Princess- add her

Inlovingmemoryofrover- not her brother tho he's a bitch

VERONICA- tea???

Inlovingmemoryofrover- tea

HunkyHunk- also should someone add Shiro back?? I feel kinda bad

Mathematics-Holt- dw about it he deserves it

Inlovingmemoryofrover- what did he do????

Mathematics-Holt- im not allowed to talk about it

Inlovingmemoryofrover- ill tell mom ur keeping secrets

Mathematics-Holt removed inlovingmemoryofrover from the chat!

Mathematics-Holt- bit c h

Pidge was added to the chat!

Pidge- b l o c k e d and r e p o r t e d

gryffindor- how tf did you get back in

Pidge- I joined that garrison under an assumed identity after breaking in multiple times and /this/ is what y'all are surprised about???

gryffindor- fair fair

Pidge changed their name to 'unrelated to the peanuts'!

Princess- Oh! I remember that!

KKogayne- remember what?

HunkyHunk- ??

Sharpshooterninja- I'm confused

unrelated to the peanuts- yall wouldnt no

Princess changed their name to 'fuk u zarkon'

Fuk u zarkon- lonce has been teaching me earth culture. The curse words are quite fun

Mathematics-Holt- i like the way u think princess

Mathematics-Holt changed their name to 'fuk u senDICK'

Sharpshooterninja- haha nice

Fuk u senDICK- thanks yung un

Sharpshooterninja- hang on imma join

Sharpshooterninja changed their name to 'fuk u nyma'

Fuk u senDICK- ???

Fuk u nyma- it's a long story

KKogayne- no it's not

HunkyHunk- she seduced Lance and stole the blue lion while Beezer and Rolo kept the rest of us distracted. I knew the truth all along but NO ONE would listen to me.

KKogayne- Yeah. That's on us

Unrelated to the peanuts- haha yeah totally our bad.

Fuk u nyma- ANYWAYS  
Fuk u nyma- back to hunks girlfriend.

HunkyHunk- for the last time lance. She's not my girlfriend.

Princess- you should add shay.

HunkyHunk- ok. Imma do that

HunkyHunk added Shay to 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'!

HunkyHunk- welcome shay.

Shay- hello hunk and paladins and mfe Pilots and matt

Mathematics-Holt- evening

HunkyHunk- Hello Shay!

Shay- it's an honor to be included.


	5. watching planet earth in space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk where i even got this idea but it was fun to write.
> 
> also-- this chapter won't be completely in a group chat format. I'm gonna have a part where the characters are just bonding together.

Shirt—>kermit the meme

Shirt- Come collect your brother.

Kermit the meme- why? Where is he?

Shirt- He's in my room. We're watching Planet Earth.

Kermit the meme- if he's crying it's your problem

Shirt- please get him. Also, can you add me back to the group chat with the MFEs and Shay?

Kermit the meme- fine. Hang on

Unrelated to the peanuts—> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

'Unrelated to the peanuts' added 'Takashi Shirogane' to the chat!

Shay- Hello Shiro, Hunk tells me you're not a paladin anymore.

KKogayne- hey loser

Takashi Shirogane- Hello everyone  
Takashi Shirogane- Pidge come collect your brother

Fuk u nyma- ???

'fuk u nyma' changed their name to 'Loverboylance'!

Unrelated to the peanuts- he's your problem u new he would cry

Loverboylance- ???

'Takashi Shirogane' changed their name to 'please'!

Please- He wont stop crying about a baby caribou.

Mathematics-Holt- it was a bloodbath

Loverboylance- is anyone else VERY confused!!!

KKogayne- let it happen man. The friendship between Shiro and Matt is wild.

Unrelated to the peanuts- can confirm

Please- We're watching Planet Earth and Matthew won't stop crying.

Mathematics-Holt- it's not my fault you have no soul, Shiro

Loverboylance- oh man. Planet Earth makes Hunk and I cry every time.

Princess- what is Planet Earth?

VERONICA- it's an educational tv show about earth. many people cry bc nothing is sugarcoated.

Mathematics-Holt- 10/10 would recommend

Loverboylance- shiro im omw to ur room to watch it with you. Hunk is with me btw

Please- great. I love that for me

Mathematics-Holt- haha nice. Y'all should come over.

KKogayne- OMW

____

Pidge waited outside of Shiro's room for Allura and Romelle. who didn't know where everything on the Atlas was.

"Pidge! I'm so excited to learn more about your planet!" Allura said giddily when she found her.

"I'm excited for you to see this too. But the real gold mine is Bill Nye." Pidge smiled.

"Who's Bill Nye?" Romelle asked as Nadia and Kinkade walked up.

"Bill Nye is a man who teaches kids about science through fun experiments." Nadia said.

"It's a tv show." Kinkade nodded.

"Yeah. My brother and I aren't allowed to watch it because one time we tried to recreate an experiment he did and almost burned down the house." Pidge smiled at the memory.

"Is that normal for earth children?" Romelle asked.

"Oh no. Definitely not. Matt and I are just smart but like really dumb at the same time. It was mostly Matt's fault though." Pidge defended.

"Uhh we should probably go in." Nadia pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Pidge said as everyone laughed.

Pidge knocked hard on the metal door.

"Good evening people Shiro hates me for inviting." Matt said as he opened the door.

"I don't know why I'm friends with you." Shiro said to Matt as everyone walked in.

"Hey man, we got abducted by aliens together. You're stuck with me whether or not." Matt replied with a smirk. "We're Kerberos bros. Kerberbros."

"Oh my god never say that again."

When the group was in the room, they were surprised to see that everyone had already gotten there before them. Including Matt's girlfriend, Nylee and Shiro's kinda-boyfriend (it's complicated apparently), Curtis. 

Matt, Shiro, Nylee, and Curtis were already halfway through it.

"Aww man did we miss the polar bears?" Pidge grumbled as she sat on top of Lance.

"Yeah. Sorry. You snooze you loose." Matt smirked.

"You missed the one of the saddest parts too." Nylee said.

"It's not my fault I occasionally cry when a baby caribou that I have gotten very attached too gets killed." Matt said, his voice rising a bit.

"Occasionally?! Matthew, you cry every time!" Shiro shook his head.

"Wow okay you snitch." Matt said.

Everyone watched in silence for a bit.

"Earth is beautiful." Said Allura when the camera panned over cherry trees. "I wish we had been able to see more of it before we had to leave.

No one answered her.

"The trees on Altea did something very similar to loosing their leaves and sleeping for the winter. But their leaves were replaced with crystals."

"On the colony we didn't have seasons so the trees didn't change." Romelle added.

The scene kept playing.

"What the QUIZNACK is THAT" Romelle said. Pointing at the screen.

"That is a squirrel." Ina said from the back.

"Hmm. I don't like it."

"Hey the jungle kinda reminds me of where we found the green lion." Pidge realized.

"Oh yeah just without canoe owning sloths." Shiro added.

"I'm gonna need that story." Curtis laughed.

"Hey Lance is that you?" Veronica said what a rather bizzare looking bird came on screen.

"Oh I see how it is."

"Hey look. It's even screeching at the top of its lungs!" Veronica laughed

"Hey! I'll have you know I have the voice of an angel! Tell her Pidge."

"Nah."

"The disrespect!"

"Woah, what are those?" Romelle asked about some seal.

"That's a seal." Ina clarified again.

"You know, I used to know a guy who looked like those seals." Nylee said. Suddenly, the seal got eaten by the shark. "Yeah. That's about how he died too."

"Well shit." Matt said.

"It's so cute." Shiro said. As wild dogs began chasing a deer-like animal.

"Shiro shut up. I will cry. NOOO." Matt said as he watched the chase play out on the screen and the animal had to jump into the river to get away.

"That dust storm looks painful." Keith remarked.

"Earth really is remarkable. It's so fragile if one of the biomes failed it could collapse your entire ecosystem." Allura realized.

"Yeah. It's kinda scary if you think about it." Hunk replied.

"HELL YEAH ELEPHANTS." Lance yelled.

"This actually really sad." Romelle said about elephants who got separated from their herd.

"Yeah I know. I always get way to emotionally invested in this." Hunk said.

"Oh yeah me to man." Matt agreed.

"YES THEY DID IT." Lance yelled again.

"Guys I'm gonna cry again."

"Yeah me too."

One of the elephants had gotten lost and was going in the wrong direction. Hunk and Matt later deny this, but they both had tears streaming down their cheeks.

"Hey look, Keith, a hippo."

"Nice."

"This isn't how I remember Lion King." Matt joked.

"You cried during that too, though."

"You got me there, dear sister."

"Oh god. Oh noooo." Hunk muttered when the narrators announced hunting dogs appearing.

"You Paladins could learn something from the techniques demonstrated in this video." Allura smirked.

"Wow. Okay."

"Awww they're kinda cute." Pidge swooned.

"Pidge you think yalmors are cute." Lance deadpanned.

"In a hideous way. Like you, remember." She said.

Lance managed to hide his blush. Barely.

Matt caught Veronica's eye and they both smirked.

After they watched the show, everyone felt like they knew each other better. And, though Shiro would never tell anyone, he did enjoy having everyone over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I was watching planet earth as i wrote this so it should more or less match up with it.


	6. 6-Shiro Burrito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shiro burrito and lance might be high???????

Loverboylance —> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Loverboylance- guys shiro rhymes with burrito i cant stop laughing

KKogayne- Lance it's 3 am calm down

Loverboylance- can't im laughing too hard

KKogayne- why are you like this

HunkyHunk- I MAY HAVE GIVEN HIM SUGAR  
HunkyHunk- BAD IDEA I SEE THAT NOW

Loverboylance- SHIRO THE BURRITO OMG  
Loverboylance- GUYS IM LITERALLY SO SMART  
Loverboylance- LIKE PIDGE LEVEN SMART

unrelated to the peanuts- *level

Loverboylance- shut the fuck up pidge squidge

unrelated to the peanuts- nvm im leaving

KKogayne- Lance go to bed

Loverboylance- yeah gonna have to pass keith teeth

VERONICA- Lance I swear to god

Loverboylance- veronica harmonica

HunkyHunk- wait do me

Loverboylance- spunky hunky  
Loverboylance- skunk hunk  
Loverboylance- debunk hunk

HunkyHunk- n i c e

KKogayne- go the fuck to sleep

Loverboylance- COCAINE KOGANE

Mathematics-Holt-that ones actually p good

Loverboylance- matt rat

Mathematics-Holt- nvm blocked

Loverboylance- pidge  
Loverboylance- pigeon  
Loverboylance- Pidgey

Unrelated to the peanuts- fuck off

Loverboylance- u suck at mini golf  
Loverboylance- remember u spent so much time looking at the hole and then u hit bob remember

Unrelated to the peanuts- yes I remember dumbass I did that on purpose.

VERONICA- ahh young love

Mathematics-Holt- fuckups in love  
Mathematics-Holt- wait who tf is bob?

Unrelated to the peanuts- a dumbass  
Unrelated to the peanuts- also eww id rather die before i date lance

Loverboylance- didn't you call me cute

Unrelated to the peanuts has left the chat!

Mathematics-Holt- coward

Unrelated to the peanuts has joined the chat!

Unrelated to the peanuts- i heard u were talking shit abt me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all it's been awhile
> 
> Also this is really short but I ran out of ideas so rip me I guess.
> 
> And thanks for all the support I've gotten on this it really means a lot to me


	7. All that jazz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and all that jazz ;)

Takashi Shirogane —> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Takashi Shirogane- what does everyone think they're gonna do when this is all over?

KKogayne- id like to get to know my mom but aside from that idk. I would like to keep piloting.

Loverboylance- idk but i dont want us all to split up. Like we better see each other often or ill sue

VERONICA- yeah

Unrelated to the peanuts- who tf would you even sue?

Loverboylance- ur mom

Unrelated to the peanuts- ha good luck  
Unrelated to the peanuts- when this is over my mom wants me to finish middle school but honestly that's so useless i already know more than most of the teachers

Mathematics-Holt- didn't u take college courses???

Unrelated to the peanuts- they made me stop after kerberos bc it was 'too much stress' and 'you should be grieving not committing treason' and all that jazz

HunkyHunk- all that jazz

Mathematics-Holt changed 'unrelated to the peanuts's name to 'all that jazz'!

All that jazz- I see how it is

HunkyHunk- I never rlly thought about it but I guess I'd like to settle down with Shay it someone or stay in the atlas or at the garrison as an engineer  
HunkyHunk- and I agree with lance, it'd be nice to stay together

NahDIEah- staying together would be nice.

gryffindor- it would

Mathematics-Holt- i might propose to Nylee

All that jazz- !!!!! !!!!!!!

Takashi Shirogane- They grow up so fast

All that jazz- how tf did Matt get a girlfriend

Mathematics-Holt- it was her idea

Takashi Shirogane- sounds fake but okay 

Mathematics-Holt added Nylee;) to the chat!

Mathematics-Holt- babe who made the first move?

Nylee;)- me   
Nylee;)- but honestly Olia helped a lot

Mathematics-Holt- wait what!!!!????!!??!?

Nylee;)- Yeah

NahDIEah- awwww I want a boyfriend   
NahDIEah- or girlfriend honestly  
NahDIEah- veronica?

VERONICA- girl I love u but im in love with axca

Loverboylance- WHAT THIS IS GREAT I KNEW U WERE GAY BUT I DIDNT NO IT WAS FOR AXCA!!!! !! Hdhsnheibzuvwb OMG VERONICA THIS IS GREAT 109729/10 SUPPORT LOVE YOU SIS NOW MOM HAS TWO GAY KIDS WELL IM NOT GAY IM BI ANS UR A LESBIAN NOT GAY HUT STIL. PMG OMG OMG OMG KGM SEIEJNSJRNJB MORE DRAMATIC THAN WWIII OMG VERONICA IM DYING

VERONICA- wait u didnt no i was fuckin gay for axca?

All that jazz- dont take it personally he didnt realize I was a girl until like a week after we were in space and i had known him at the garrison b4 that

Nylee;)- haha lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So idk what is chapter was. It was supposed to be nostalgic but it turned out gay
> 
> But like mood?


	8. road work ahead?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha you tell me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yea i sure hope it does

Mathematics-Holt—> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Mathematics- Holt- road work ahead??

Loverboylance- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

All that jazz- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

gryffindor- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

VERONICA- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

leaf-dotter- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

NahDIEah-uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

RyanAids- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

RomCom- uhhh yeah I sure hope it does

Takashi Shirogane- Wait, Romelle how do you know that?

RomCom- I have been hanging out with Hunk and then Lance bc he's always there too.

Loverboylance- wow okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha hi
> 
> Sorry this is really short but I'm running out of ideas and I wanted to get this published.
> 
> Vines tho right?
> 
> If y'all have any ideas you'd like me to write don't hesitate to tell me and thanks to everyone who's gotten this far. 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated <3


	9. shiro guess what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> space mall hell yeah

Takashi Shirogane—> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Takashi Shirogane- We might stop at the Space Mall to stock up the Atlas.

NahDIEah- ?? space mall ??

Mathematics-Holt- hell yea

Loverboylance- oh

All that jazz- haha Shiro guess what

Takashi Shirogane- What did you do?

All that jazz- haha so lance and i might be banned from the space mall

VERONICA- what the fuck

All that jazz- also possibly keith and hunk

Takashi Shirogane- What did you do

HunkyHunk- it was an accident!!

KKogayne- personally I blame coran

Takashi Shirogane- I expected this from Pidge and maybe Lance but Hunk and Keith?

Mathematics-Holt- oh no.   
Mathematics-Holt- he's not mad  
Mathematics-Holt- He's d i s s a p o i n t e d

All that jazz- wait y wood u expect it from me???  
All that jazz- wait don't answer that

Loverboylance- also it was kinda corns fault

Princess- What did happened at the Space Mall

HunkyHunk- what didn't happen at the space mall

Takashi Shirogane- what happened?

Mathematics-Holt- WAIT IS THAT WHERE YOU GOT KALTERNECKER

all that jazz- yep

Loverboylance- He was free with purchase

All that jazz- she

Loverboylance- shit not again

Mathematics-Holt- moms gonna laugh so hard

All that jazz- omg yeah and dad

gryffindor- will they not be mad you got banned?

All that jazz- honestly probably not. If my mom let me infiltrate a gov facility she'll prob just laugh

NahDIEah- haha that's great

All that jazz- it was the lesser of two evils

RyanAids- what was the other evil

All that jazz- leaving them to deal with my mom

Mathematics-Holt- holy shit when did you get so nice?

Takashi Shirogane- Wait Pidge is nice?

All that jazz removed Takashi Shirogane

KKogayne- why

All that jazz- he's being problematic

Mathematics-Holt- pidge not again

NahDIEah- I'm still confused abt the space mall


	10. baseline lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we got some healthy kidge friendship for the soul comin right up

Pidge—>Keith

Pidge- I'm gonna need you to be honest  
Pidge- did you  
Pidge- or did you not   
Pidge-have a pic of moth man in ur hermit shack?

Keith- 1) don't call it a hermit shack 2) don't tell lance I'll never hear the end of it 3) yeah

Pidge- chill  
Pidge- Nessie is cooler tho

Keith- ew wtf

KKogayne—> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

KKogayne- who wants to fite pidge with me

All that jazz- b i c t h  
All that jazz- it's a vine shiro   
All that jazz- wait nvm I removed him

HunkyHunk- pidge have you slept recently

All that jazz- haha no  
All that jazz- anyways  
All that jazz- wanna fucking go keith

KKogayne- Yeah

All that jazz- that's not a problem

Loverboylance- im confused

All that jazz- he thinks mothamn is cooler than Nessie  
All that jazz- Nessie is cooler   
All that jazz- I'm lowkey gay for her

Mathematics-Holt- 'lowkey'

All that jazz- fuck off mathew ur fucking gay

Mathematics-Holt- first of all I'm bi dumbass and second Bigfoot is best

KKogayne- what the fuck he isn't

All that jazz- i should have let the bounty hunter kill you

Mathematics-Holt- I pretend to die for one fuckiNG YEAR

RyanAids- when ever the holt siblings speak I feel more and more like I'm on drugs.

All that jazz- mood

Mathematics-Holt-mood  
Mathematics-Holt- damnit katie

All that jazz- no but really Bigfoot is a shithead

KKogayne- what did he do to you

Mathematics-Holt- oh god not this again

All that jazz- i swear i saw him

Mathematics-Holt- it was a big fcking monkey y the fck wood he reveal himself to u

KKogayne- Bigfoot is the most basic cryptid

All that jazz- yeah Keith wouldn't go to find Bigfoot but I'd bet he'd invite mothman into his hermit shack

KKogayne- it's not a fucking hermit shack

NahDIEah- yall are so basic. id willingly fuck medusa i would PAY u if i could fuck her

All that jazz- what a fucking icon

KKogayne- n i c e

Mathematics-Holt- ur in luck bc she's totally a lesbian

All that jazz- really?

VERONICA- as a lesbian, I can confirm

All that jazz- this is science and Nadia's and Veronica's gayness is just the baseline data for bi and lesbian in relation to medusa

Mathematics-Holt- shes right. We need more opinions.   
Mathematics-Holt- anyone know anymore lesbians/ wlw??

KKogayne- allura and romelle is is ur time to shine

Princess- I heard my name

RomCom- I'm gay

All that jazz- we been knew sis  
All that jazz- {all that jazz sent one image} in ur gay opinion is she a lesbian. For background she was blessed to protect women by turning men to stone when they look her in the eyes.

Princess- oh yeah. Def lesbian

RomCom- 100% also she's kinda hot.

Leaf-dotter- She is a mythological character

RomCom- that's a disappointment  
RomCom- but it's fine  
RomCom- I'm in love with allura

Princess- fucking quiznack babe

Princess left the chat!  
KKogayne added princess to the chat

VERONICA- wtf just happened?

Mathematics-Holt- so we have concluded that medusas a lesbian.

NahDIEah- suck it James

gryffindor- okay ???

All that jazz- yes

NahDIEah- good. Also pidge Nessie is hot

All that jazz- friendship ended with Keith now Nadia is my best friend.

Loverboylance- holy shit hunk what did we miss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but why am I doing this
> 
> Haha
> 
> Thanks for reading likes and comments are always appreciated   
> Also I'm running out of ideas if you can't tell.
> 
> Also in this household we stan the MFEs


	11. b i t c h

Loverboylance —> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Loverboylance- veronica

VERONICA- yeah?

Loverboylance- b i t c h

VERONICA- uhhh

KKogayne- I was gonna ask but nvm

Loverboylance- she forgot to tell me that it's my moms birthday and now I feel bad

KKogayne- do you not know your moms bday. I know my moms bday and I haven't known her for half my life.

Loverboylance- I'm bad at dates okay

VERONICA- just text her and say happy birthday

Loverboylance- but I didn't get her anything

VERONICA- were in space lance. How tf do you plan to get it to her? Were you just gonna Yeet it in the general direction of earth? And what would you get her on such short notice? Socks? Rocks? Dust? No. I didn't think so. So you can get off my back and start acting like an adult. Bitch. We all know I'm right. Also if you had yeeted it to her there's no way it would have gotten to her in time. It might even burn up it the earths atmosphere or fly into a star or disintegrate somehow. Knowing your luck it would get to earth but be broken by the time it fit there. Broken lance broken. No I'm not being dramatic. I know what you've been through and I need to say good for you but don't go off on m for something that is your fault especially you own mothers birthday.

Loverboylance- wtf

All that jazz- holy shit I think I'm in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all this isnt much but it was fun to write and I'm running out of ideas like I've said many times haha.
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback is always cherished. <3


	12. Keith's Hermit Shack

Nessie—>Keith's hermit shack

Nessie added Nadia Rizavi to Keith's hermit shack!

Nadia Rizavi- Hello?

Nessie- welcome to the unofficial official secret conspiracy club of the atlas your official founders are Pidge and Keith aka Nessie and mothman

Mothman- we've been doing some thinking and even though Medusa isn't technically a cryptid, we believe you will fit in here.

Nessie- also we need new members

Mothman- yeah

Nadia Rizavi- what reality is this???

Mothman- we had more members but Nessie removed Bigfoot (Matt) for being problematic

Nessie- to be an official member of Keith's hermit shack, the unofficial official secret conspiracy club of the atlas you need to be officially sworn to secrecy and and change your name to a cryptid.

Nadia Rizavi- how am I sworn to secrecy?

Nessie- just say you'll keep it a secret lol

Mothman- but know we both know where you sleep and if we didn't Nessie could find you anywhere

Nessie- Yeah

Nadia Rizavi changed their name to 'medusa'

Medusa- I won't tell anyone partly bc I'm scared of you guys and partly bc I'm intrigued.

Nessie- perfect

Mothman- good idea

Medusa- so what do you guys do here?

Nessie- mostly just yell about cryptids honestly

Mothman- that's pretty much it.

Medusa- cool.

Mothman- it's really just pidge ranting about how she saw Bigfoot but no one believes her

Nessie- I saw him. Matt was there but he won't validate my claims bc he's jealous.

Medusa- nice. im pretty sure I saw a yeti in Canada once.

Mothman-yetis cool

Mathematics-Holt —> 'Voltron, MFE Pilots, and matt'

Mathematics-Holt added Shiro to the chat!

Mathematics-Holt- hi. I'm matt. I'm a Radar technician.   
Mathematics-Holt- you guys like working here?

Shiro- you know work is work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- happy Valentine's Day-  
> The next chapter will be a Valentine's Day one so that cool.
> 
> Also I can't stop thinking about the opportunity rover.
> 
> Btw the last part with Matt and shiro is from an snl skit with Kylo Ren going undercover on star killer base it's really good. If you want to watch it literally just look up matt the radar technician on YouTube and you'll find it.
> 
> Btw I am aware Valentine's Day was a few days ago I was just lazy.
> 
> I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day and that is for reading this. All your support is treasured.

**Author's Note:**

> haha idk man
> 
> i dont own anything


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